Monday, 26 March 2012
What makes them “tick”?
An NPD’s inner character is permanently locked in a deep, black hole, which has been described as a “prolonged nightmare”.[Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Revisited] To escape, they create a totally false persona which is majestic, all-knowing, and ultra-powerful. They wholly convince themselves that this persona is their real, true self, whilst desperately hiding the darkness of their hidden personality.
To keep up the pretence, they need constant "Narcissistic Supply" to support and strengthen this fake image, which involves the praise and unreserved respect of those around them. This desperate need for Narcissistic Supply has been compared to a serious addiction; akin to a heroin addiction. Any lack of supply seriously undermines their fake persona, and maintaining it demands all of their energy; leaving nothing left for a partner. So why would they even want a partner?
The ‘perfect’ partner for an NPD is someone who is confident, emotional, and happy with what life gave them. If you are in this situation, please research what a "co-dependent" is, as an NPD looks for them, and the co-dependent does likewise. They engage in a "Dance of Death".
An NPD's jealousy and anger against this is vicious and sadistic, and they will not rest until they have broken down any confidence or happiness the victim feels: "What they seek is the pleasure of your destruction".[Vaknin] Using “Projection”, they throw all of their jealousy, arrogance, fear, hatred, disgust, and anger onto the partner: “My life isn’t perfect because of you. It's all your fault. You're a bad person”. This eases the tormenting guilt of their hidden personality for being so worthless, and inflates the arrogant, superior attitude of their fake persona.